Getting old is inevitable, so you might as well make a few birthday jokes and laugh about it! These birthday jokes are guaranteed to make people giggle, no matter what age they’re turning.
Whether you’re looking for a funny birthday joke to write in a card or want to text your friend something silly on their birthday, this list of good birthday jokes will help you celebrate the occasion and spread humor in the best way possible.
From funny birthday sayings to bday jokes about cakes, candles, presents and everything in between, make the birthday girl or boy’s day even more fun by picking out one of these 100 birthday jokes to share with them on their big day.
1. Did you hear about the tree’s birthday party?
Things got pretty sappy!
2. What does a clam do on his birthday?
3. What kind of music is scary for birthday balloons?
4. Why do some people get heartburn every time they eat birthday cake?
They always forget to take off the candles.
5. What does it mean if no one shows up to your birthday party?
Related: Birthday Freebies
You can have your cake and eat it, too
6. What do monsters serve at their birthday parties?
I scream cake.
7. Why are birthdays good for your health?
Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays actually live longer.
8. What’s something you get for your birthday every year, aside from cake and presents?
Another year older.
9. Did you hear about the birthday candle sale?
It was a big blowout!
10. Why did the birthday girl feel so warm at her birthday party?
People kept toasting her!
11. Why did the boy soap as a birthday present?
Because it was a soaprize party!
12.Why is it a good idea to become friends with babies?
It means you’ll get free cake once a year on their birthday for the rest of your life.
13. How come you didn’t get me a birthday present?
You did say I should surprise you, right?
14. What was the elephant’s birthday wish?
A trunk full of gifts.
15. What kind of birthday cake do ghosts like?
I scream cake.
16. What’s the fanciest kind of birthday party you can throw for a dog?
17. What do you get a hunter as a birthday present?
A birthday pheasant.
18. Why was the birthday cake hard as a rock?
It was a marble cake.
19. Why did the woman celebrate her birthday for only 30 seconds?
It was her 32nd birthday.
20. What should you give a dragon for its birthday?
I’m not sure, but you’d better hope he’ll like it!
21. Why do all of my relatives keep reminding me how old I am on my birthday?
Because age is a relative thing.
22. Why couldn’t the pony sing happy birthday?
She was feeling a little hoarse.
23. What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus have in common?
They were all born on holidays.
24. What do you say to a kangaroo on its birthday?
25. What’s the best way to remember your wife’s birthday?
Forget it once.
26. What should you say to a fish on its birthday?
Hope you have a fin-tastic birthday!
27. Why is a birthday cake like playing baseball?
They both need batters.
28. How can you tell if a birthday cake is sad?
If it’s in tiers.
29. What did the cake say to the birthday girl?
You wanna piece of me?
30. What is no cat birthday party complete without?
31. Why does the room get brighter on your birthday every year?
All of the candles on your birthday cake light things up!
32. What do you call a sick birthday cake?
33. What kind of birthday cake do they serve in heaven?
Angel food cake.
34. When is a birthday cake similar to a golf ball?
When it’s sliced.
35. What did the fork ask the sad birthday cake?
“What’s eating you up?”
36. Why do kangaroos celebrate their birthdays once every four years?
They only get to celebrate them on leap years.
37. What did one spouse say to the other when they started doing dishes on their birthday?
“You really don’t have to do the dishes on your birthday! You can just do them tomorrow.”
38. Why don’t kids remember much about their past birthday parties?
They’re too focused on the present.
39. What did the horse wish for on its birthday?
A stable economy.
40. Why did the birthday boy smash his cake with a hammer?
Because it was a pound cake.
41. Does one type of birthday candle burn longer than another?
No, they all burn shorter.
42. Why do candles have such a good time at birthday parties?
They love getting lit!
43. What did the hippie to her birthday party guests while she was serving cake?
May piece be with you.
44. Which side is the left side of a birthday cake?
The side that hasn’t been eaten yet.
45. What did one candle say to the other?
Don’t birthdays just light you up?”
46. Why was the pig in the kitchen on its birthday?
He was bacon himself a birthday cake.
47. Was anyone famous born on your birthday?
No, just a bunch of babies.
48. Why do people put candles on top of birthday cakes?
Because you can’t put them on the bottom.
49. Why couldn’t the science teacher come up with a good birthday joke?
Because all of the good ones Argon.
50. Why was the soccer player upset on his birthday?
Someone gave him a red card.
51. What happens when a husband asks his wife for a Segway as his birthday present?
She just changes the topic.
52. Why do tennis balls whisper happy birthday to each other?
They don’t want to make a racquet.
53. Did you hear what happened between sugar and cream at the birthday party?
It was the icing on the cake.
54. What is Elsa from Frozen‘s favorite part of a birthday cake?
55. Where do kids get ice cream cakes on their birthday?
At sundae school.
56. How do you know when you’re officially old?
When it takes longer to rest than it did to get tired. Happy birthday!
57. What does every birthday end with?
The letter Y.
58. Why should you put your birthday cake in the freezer before the party?
To give it more ice-ing.
59. What didn’t the teddy bear eat cake on its birthday?
He was already stuffed!
60. What did the snowman say to the birthday girl?
Have an ice day!
61. What do cats like to eat with their birthday cakes?
62. What should you say if someone gives you dirt or sand on your birthday?
” I appreciate the sediment.”
63. Why couldn’t the knot go to his friend’s birthday party?
He was all tied up.
64. How old was the caveman on his birthday?
65. Why did the cupcake go to the doctor?
It was feeling crumby.
66. What kind of birthday cake will you find in the garbage?
67. What did the pirate say on this 80th birthday party?
68. What is Moby Dick’s favorite way to celebrate his birthday?
By having a whale of a party.
69. What’s a sure sign you’re getting older?
When you and your teeth don’t sleep together.
70. What did one lion say to the other on its birthday?
Yay, it’s roar birthday!
71. What is a bee’s favorite day of the year?
72. What did the boy say when his parents hired a clown for his birthday party?
Thanks, I really appreciate the jester.
73. Where can you find the best birthday present ideas for cats?
74. What kind of birthday cake should you get a coffee lover?
A choco-latte cake.
75. What will happen if you invite a thief to your birthday party?
They will take the cake!
76. What do cows sing at birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to mooooo!”
77. What did one frog say to the other on its birthday?
“Hope your birthday is toad-ally awesome!”
78. What food can someone blow on, but everyone still wants to eat?
A birthday cake.
79. How do you know you’re no longer a spring chicken?
Because your birthday is in autumn.
80. What did the bald man say when he was given a comb as a present for his birthday?
Thanks, I’ll never part with it.
81. What gets better with every birthday?
82. What did the toilet paper do when his friends threw him a surprise birthday party?
He just rolled with it.
83. What’s the best thing to say to a cheese-lover on their birthday?
84. What did one chicken say to the other on its birthday?
“I hope you have an egg-cellent birthday!”
85. How do pickles celebrate their birthdays?
They relish the moment.
86. Why didn’t cavemen send birthday cards?
The amount of postage needed to mail rocks got too expensive.
87. What should you say to a birthday girl or guy who’s worried about turning older?
Cheer up! Old age doesn’t last that long.
88. How do you know when you’re getting too old?
When the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
89. What birthday present is guaranteed to make anyone’s face light up?
A light bulb.
90. What did the 99-year-old wish for on their birthday?
To be younger!
91. What did the ocean say to the birthday boy?
Nothing, it just waved.
92. What did the birthday cake say to the ice cream?
You’re so cool!
93. What do you get when you eat an entire birthday cake?
A stomach ache.
94. What type of birthday celebration only happens in the bathroom?
A birthday potty!
95. What did the basketball player do before blowing out his birthday cake?
He made a swish.
96. What did one pea say to the other on its birthday?
Ha pea birthday!
97. What do computers want for their birthdays?
98. Why don’t owls give each other birthday gifts?
Because they don’t give a hoot!
99. Why doesn’t Dracula like hosting birthday parties?
He says planing them is a pain in the neck.
100. How does a tea bag wish its friend happy birthday?
Happy birthday, best tea!
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